Figuring this out

I've been spending most of the past few days thinking about what I really want to do with my life and what I was doing when I was happiest. Writing was always the common element in all those times I felt best about my life.

When I was in elementary school, I'd write the most ridiculously violent stories just to make my classmates laugh. I remember them being on the edges of their seats with anticipation every time it was my turn to read a story I'd written for a class assignment. I want to get back to that; making people forget the shittiest parts of their lives and whatever troubles they're going through—at least for the time they're reading something I've written.

The thing is, I tend to gravitate towards writing sad stories. I don't know why. I haven't had a particularly sad life; my stories just end up being sad. Remembering how much my elementary school stories could make my classmates laugh, I've been thinking about writing something funny. But it's crazy difficult to write something funny. People can tell when you're trying too hard, and then it's not very funny at all. Usually, people find things I say or write funny when I wasn't meaning to be funny. I'm not even sure I even fully understand what it is that they find amusing. Anything I've managed to write recently is not like those stories I wrote as a kid; I was definitely trying to come up with scenarios as crazy as possible to get my classmates to laugh.

But that was one of my happiest memories as a writer, so I think it makes sense to restart my writing with something that made me happy. Maybe not writing about crazy, slap-sticky, violent situations but something that will entertain people and make them happy too.