Reading, reading, reading

I'm still not sure exactly what this site will become, but I know reading will be a big part of it. Reading is what led me to become a writer and it's taught me so much about the world and myself—and writing, of course. Sometimes, I'm worried that I soak up what I'm reading so much that I'm just unconsciously adopting the style of whichever author I'm reading at the moment. I know a lot of writers can't read other authors, or avoid certain ones when they're writing because the self-doubt gets to be too much. They think, "Oh, I may as well give up, because I'll never be as great as so-and-so." Or they just get too distracted. Because writing is hard and it's easier to just read someone who's made it instead of continuing to write your own crap that one wants to read.

Me, I just can't give up reading, even if I face all of those same issues other writers have. Right now, I'm reading The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel and it's so effortless and beautiful that I'm having a hard time even writing a single word of fiction. I feel like I haven't lived my life well enough or experienced enough to create such a wide range of characters and settings. I know a lot of random things, but I can't see how they would translate into a compelling story. It's been so long since I've written fiction, that I'm not even sure I can do it any more; but here I go, knocking myself down into the dust before I've even gotten started down Fiction Road.

Another thing I'm hoping will help is that my husband and I got a subscription to Apple News+ recently, which includes a subscription to The Writer, a magazine about writing which I used to subscribe to in print until I stopped being able to find the time to read it. But I always found its advice and writing exercises helpful, so maybe it will be the push I need.

Time is always the issue. Finding time to read all of the content I'm interested in, the things I need to read for my job, for fun, to get back into writing—it's starting to get overwhelming, so I may need to dial things back. Set time limits for reading each type of literature, block out some time for blogging and fiction. It's a good thing I'm obsessively organized.